dynamic entry
Below is some sort of ridiculous ode to Lars' Dynamic Entry. Let's take a look at that.
DYNAMIC. ENTRY.
Yes. That's an actual name for one of his moves in the game. DE can be done by pressing f+3, and it leads into other moves. But that's not what this section is for. This section is to ramble about the lulz of the Dynamic Entry. Dynamic Entry....
- Satisfies everytime
- Gets Lars out of sticky situations...or should I say into them?
- Is Inescapable
- Can leave you incapacitated for a bit
- Is always enjoyable
- Usually leads into a Swedish Massage
- Usually awards you coffee in the morning (Tea if coffee isn't your thing)
- Happens at any given time of the day
- Can only be done by Lars (anyone who says they can do it is lying)
- Can only be denied by Lars' wingman, Tougou
- Gets Lars a sexy SUV
- Can be turned into a Silent Entry
- Will make you speak languages you didn't even know you could speak
- Will make you speak languages that didn't exist until you got yourself DE'd. (JAPANEDISHFRENDUTCHTURKINESE? Yeah, you just invented it. Congratulations you awesome person, you.)
What you need to know about Lars and his Dynamic Entry:
- Never, ever tell Lars you don't know what a Dynamic Entry is.
- Say yes when he poses this question: "Dynamic Entry?" ALWAYS SAY YES. EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW.
- He will DE you if you even think about it. Yes, he's that damned good with it.
- Never attempt a DE on him, unless you're Tougou.
- You don't prepare for Lars or his DE.
- If Lars doesn't ask if you want a DE, that means he'll take it. Pad your house/apartment/bedroom with something soft. He's not taking responsibility for you bruising your ass because you got DE'd on a hard surface.
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